She was fast asleep when I left home at about 6.40. She must have slept late again, I told myself. I normally walk an hour twenty or a little more every morning. Today it stretched to two hours plus as Vikram, another walker-jogger, started sharing his recent experience of the hills and the unseasonal rains. The unusual delay resulted in Rajni stepping out to look for me. As we walked back home I was told that Ma wanted to come looking for me and that she was anxious and panicky. In Ma’s case these anxiety attacks result in an upset stomach and her getting successive loosies. That’s what Ma has been for as long as I have known her. Anyone not reaching back home in time, someone being unwell, the very mention of the word accident, not hearing from her siblings or a relative for long or for that matter no news from even a distant hardly-an-acquaintance can trigger a stomach churn and loosies for her. Till a decade back it was okay, she had been healthy and the body could take it, but now at 89, forgetful and frail, her anxiousness worries us. Over our first cup of tea I calmed her and talked about her friends in Ashok Vihar. Suddenly she recalled an episode of anxiety attack and loosies she had just before she was to be honoured with ‘the eminent lady award’ in 1998. It was a happier and celebratory moment, yet it made her anxious. Holding my arm she pushed a folded 500 rupee note from her clasped fist to my hand and said, ‘Happy Mother’s Day.’ I patted her hand and helped her sit for breakfast. She continued, “I am like that, I am a mother, I worry. I have no control.” The lesson: Stay at home, not away from your mother if you really want a happy mother’s day.

Picture: Ma (centre) being felicitated.